The Top 10 Best Butts in Sports
by Chelsea Cavagnaro
A note from Andrew:
It's true. Everyone loves a good butt.
Chelsea is my friend and I never thought she'd actually make this list. I talked about this on my podcast "Under Futher Review," the most recent episode of which can be found HERE. While you're there, my partner Kata and I analyze the most important sports countdown list in the history of sports countdown lists.
And thanks to Chelsea for actually writing this and making everyone's dream a reality. NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER WORDS BECAUSE SHE DESERVES YOUR RESPECT, DAMMIT.
(Also some of this is probably NSFW, just a warning.... I say as I'm literally writing this while at work.)
So here is my list of the Top Ten Best Butts in Sports. Now I’d like to stress before we dive in that I know nothing about sports, so if you don’t see your favorite athlete’s tushy on here, I apologize. I know maybe 7 people off the top of my head so I had to do some research - some butt research. At the end of the day, I learned a little something, which is what you wanted all along, wasn’t it Andrew?
The song “bubble butt” was written about this Arizona Cardinals wide receiver’s amazing donk. Look at this. Just look at it.
The Top 10
10. Kim Hyeon-Woo
This South Korean wrestler starts our list off with an adorable donk. It’s not necessarily the biggest donk in town, but its high and tight. I could bounce a quarter off of it. Looks great in one of those little wrestling onesies. Is that what they’re called? They are now.
9. Isaquias Queiroz Dos Santos
OH HONEY. He’s Brazilian, need I say more? They’re famous for their perfect cabooses and Dos Santos is no exception. He’s a sprint canoeist so I guess that means you need a fat ass to sit on while you row. It’s so big. So round. It what I am grateful for this year on Thanksgiving.
8. Jack Sock
This tennis player has a derriere that I can only describe as THICC. Look him up, his booty can not be contained by even the loosest of shorts. The booty is large and in charge for sure.
7. Mark Percival
So rugby is my new favorite thing for the butts alone. I guess it’s a thing in Rugby to just pull down your opponents shorts and show the world your crack? Seriously, there are so many pictures of naked butts on the field. Mark Percival’s makes this list because it is thick and juicy, but in a soft way? An approachable way even. Like his booty is a booty that will keep me safe and warm this Winter. Thanks, Percy.
6. Adam Rippon
Everyone’s favorite gay Figure Skater. We all know that the costumes skaters wear are basically skin tight, I’m not fully convinced that it’s not body paint and jock strap. Rippon’s booty makes this list because it is truly gravity defying. It’s just so high, how many Lutz jumps and Axels do I have to do to make my butt stand up completely on it’s own?
5. John Cena
Did you immediately hear his theme music? Is that meme dead? Anyway, Cena makes this list because of the sides of his cheeks. He has that kind of definition that I will never have. It’s next level firmness.
4. David Beckham
We were all expecting him at some point. The soccer star, and husband to Spice Girl Victoria Beckham, is a hot dad. Honestly, his butt is so bubblelicious that I honestly think pants are no match for it.
3. Julian Edelman
We made it all the way to the top three butts in sports! We’ve all seen Edelman’s ESPN cover and it is glorious from head to toe. The beard, the thick thighs, that fat ass. No one can deny that he is a full on snack. I don’t want to be vulgar, but Julian, please smother me to death with your gigantic cheeks.
2. Thom Evans
This former rugby player is beautiful. Evans bared it all in a delightful spread and his cheeks remind me of two little mountains that live right next to each other. He auditioned for Jamie Dornan’s role in Fifty Shades of Grey and unfortunately did not get the role, but that didn’t stop him from sharing his talent with the world anyway. Bless you.
1. Serena Williams
Here it is perverts, our number one butt. If you read this whole list, thank you. After looking at literally hundreds of butt cheeks I thought to myself, who is at the top of their game at the moment? Who has it all going on? None other than our Queen, Serena Williams. HAVE YOU SEEN HER BEHIND? It puts all these other butts to shame. So shapely, so perky, so firm. Truly stupendous. She is Black Girl Magic in action and her butt is living proof.
Got any more suggestions for Top 10 lists? Do you want to write a list yourself? Get in touch with Andrew using the contact tab at the top of the page.
You can follow all of Under Futher Review's activities on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Soundcloud and Apple Podcasts using the handle @UFRVodcast.
Disclaimer: the opinions of Chelsea Cavagnaro or anyone else are not the opinions of Andrew or According to Andrew, except when they are. In that case, then they are.