March Madness 2021: The Great Mascot Death Bracket III

March Madness 2021: The Great Mascot Death Bracket III

The Loyola Ramblers return to the tournament in 2021, eager to repeat their success from 2018.

For the first time in two years, March Madness has returned to us.

Last year’s cancellation of the tournament due to the pandemic left me without an opportunity to do a death bracket, but now that the field of 68 has officially been unveiled, we can officially commence with the festivities!

And so, welcome all, to the third incarnation of the Great Mascot Death Bracket! 

Since we have a lot to get to, here’s a quick overview of the rules:

Isn’t filling out a bracket normally just boring? Picking the 1 seeds to go all the way to the championship? Having just one or two upsets in your bracket? Lame.

The purpose of the Death Bracket is to spice things up. The premise is simple: instead of two teams playing basketball, what if we pit each mascot against each other in a no holds barred fight to the death? No rules, just answering the question: who would win in a fight?

The winner, obviously gets eternal glory and the title of Death Bracket Champion. 

Got it? Pretty simple right?

Feel free to fill out your brackets this way to impress your friends or co-workers. Just don’t blame me if you don’t break 10 points total.

Also, fair warning- if you’re not a fan of animals being “eliminated”, this is probably not the article for you.

But now that the long wait is over…

Let the battle BEGIN!
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West Region

Round of 64
ENTRY BATTLE ROYALE: (1) Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. (16) Appalachian State Mountaineers vs. (16) Norfolk State Spartans

As is tradition, all First Four games will evolve into a three-way battle royal. And thus, our first matchup pits the Bulldogs of Gonzaga against a Mountaineer from Appalachian State and a Spartan from Norfolk State. 

A bulldog is a breed of dog, known for being a good boy with floppy cheeks. A mountaineer is someone who lives in a mountainous area or partakes in sports like climbing. A Spartan is a fierce warrior, part of one of the most feared militaries in ancient history. I think it’s pretty clear who the winner is. The spartan has a sword, for god sake.
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Winner: Norfolk State Spartans
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(8) Oklahoma Sooners vs. (9) Missouri Tigers

Sooners were settlers of Oklahoma during the late 19th century. A tiger is a ferocious beast with stripes and teeth. I understand the pioneers of the day were tough, traveled folk, but they had other issues like cholera, typhoid, drowning, angry Native Americans, and other causes for death like in the game Oregon Trail. Adding a Tiger to the mix is not only going to mess with them psychologically, it’s likely also going to result in their death. The tiger eats the sooner. Next.

Winner: Missouri Tigers


(5) Creighton Blue Jays vs. (12) UCSB Gauchos

Making its first appearance in the bracket, the Gaucho is “a skilled horseman, reputed to be brave and unruly.” A blue jay is a wild bird common to eastern North America. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the dude who looks like he’s going to cut you open can probably take a blue jay. Beware the gaucho.

Winner: USCB Gauchos
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(4) Virginia Cavaliers vs. (13) Ohio Bobcats

The Cavalier (a supporter of the king in 17th century England) is a worthy contender, having been in the death bracket each of the last two times out. He does have a sword, after all. However, he faces a worthy opponent, a bobcat, who is likely hungry considering he just saw a tiger chow down on some poor middle-American settlers. Bobcat eats cavalier. On to the next!

Winner: Ohio Bobcats

ENTRY BATTLE ROYALE: (6) USC Trojans vs. (11) Drake Bulldogs vs. (11) Wichita State Shockers

For those of you unfamiliar: a Trojan is a native of Troy, another of the fiercest warriors in history. A bulldog is a bulldog, of course, and a shocker, according to Wichita State’s definition, is “someone who earns money by shocking, or harvesting wheat”. I’m going to say the shocker, or Wheat Man, has a scythe. He’s not going to harvest all that wheat by hand!

Off with their heads! Sorry, doggo.

Winner: Wichita State Shockers


(3) Kansas Jayhawks vs. (14) Eastern Washington Eagles

Finally! Our first all-air battle pits the Jayhawks against the Eagles. Originally known as a Jay-Hawker, or someone from 1850s Kansas who fought against pro-slavery folks from Missouri, it is unclear how the ornithological meaning of “Jayhawk” came into play. Somehow we ended up with this dumb bird with pilgrim shoes instead. I think the Eagle is the more battle-ready participant here, and can easily outduel the Jayhawk.

Winner: Eastern Washington Eagles

(7) Oregon Ducks vs. (10) VCU Rams

Who would win in a fight? A duck or a ram? I’ll give you a hint: let’s hope that duck has Aflac life insurance.

Winner: VCU Rams


(2) Iowa Hawkeyes vs. (15) Grand Canyon Antelopes​

Two years ago, the unlikely duo of Alan Alda and Jeremy Renner teamed up to take out most of the rest of the field. This year, they’re back to take on an Antelope, a fauna resident of the African Savannah. Antelopes are quick and fleet-footed, but there’s no stopping one of Hawkeye’s arrows once he has you in his sites. 

Winner: Iowa Hawkeyes
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Round of 32
(16) Norfolk State Spartans vs. (9) Missouri Tigers
Don’t they fight some sort of Tiger in 300? If this particular spartan is anything like Gerard Butler, it is the tiger who is dining in hell.

Winner: Norfolk State Spartans


(12) USCB Gauchos vs. (13) Ohio Bobcats
I think the gaucho is pretty resourceful here. As cattle herders, they can use that to their advantage by sacrificing the cows to the hungry bobcat, then taking it out from being while it’s distracted. 

Winner: USCB Gauchos


(11) Wichita State Shockers vs. (14) Eastern Washington Eagles
Wheat man vs. pesky eagle. While on paper the Eagle looks as if it might easily pluck off the pieces of wheat from the wheat man’s body, we know that the wheat man takes many forms, including that of a scarecrow. And that is to his advantage, because when the eagle is not looking…

Slice.

Winner: Wichita State Shockers

(2) Iowa Hawkeyes vs. (10) VCU Rams
A charging ram is no match for a certain Hawkeye firing like five arrows at you at once. Sleep tight, VCU.

Winner: Iowa Hawkeyes


Sweet 16
(16) Norfolk State Spartans vs. (12) UCSB Gauchos
I think the Gaucho has finally met his match here. The Spartan has armor, and since he’s warded off a tiger already, I don’t think a man herding cattle is going to be much of a problem. The Spartan also has a sword. Don’t bring a cow to a sword fight.

Winner: Norfolk State Spartans

(11) Wichita State Shockers vs. (2) Iowa Hawkeyes
Hawkeye hasn’t had his own movie yet. And if he did, I think the wheat man serves as an excellent potential villain. And because Hawkeye is my least favorite avenger, we’ll go ahead and call this one in favor of the wheat man, as not even Alan Alda can figure out the mystery of why the wheat man can keep sneaking up on you and scything his opponents from out of nowhere. Shockers move to the Elite 8.

Winner: Wichita State Shockers


Elite 8
(16) Norfolk State Spartans vs. (11) Wichita State Shockers
Like something out of a horror video game, the spartan enters the quiet wheat field, and begins to hack away at the grain with all his might. It is only then that he realizes that with each hack of the sword, he is not only doing the Shocker’s bidding of collecting wheat, but that the wheat man has twisted space and time, trapping the spartan in an endless spree of chopping wheat until he falls over and dies.

Winner: Wichita State Shockers

Wichita State Advances to Final Four

East Region

Round of 64

ENTRY BATTLE ROYALE: (1) Michigan Wolverines vs. (16) Texas Southern Tigers vs. (16) Mount Saint Mary’s Mountaineers

A pretty straightforward matchup here- a wolverine is small but feisty, but the tiger is larger and can move around pretty well for a big fella. The mountaineer might stand a chance against the wolverine, or just against the tiger, but not both, as we see the wolverine and the tiger team up to kill the mountaineer. As cool as it would be to see a wolverine take down a tiger, I don’t think Darwin’s rules of natural selection would allow that to happen.

Winner: Texas Southern Tigers

(8) LSU Tigers vs. (9) St. Bonaventure Bonnies​

The Bonnie is short for the Bona Wolf, and a tiger is, once again, a tiger. It’s also unfortunate for the Bona Wolf, as St. Bonaventure is also the patron saint of bowel disorders. So not only is it going to have some sort of IBS or other intestinal disease, it’s also small enough that it is going to get eaten by a tiger.

Winner: LSU Tigers


(5) Colorado Buffaloes vs. (12) Georgetown Hoyas

So no one really knows where the term “Hoya” came from. Hoya Saxa is the “college yell” of Georgetown, which means “What Rocks!” So I’m not sure if Georgetown has come to educate the buffalo in Greek or what. So instead of some sort of philosophical mascot, let’s put in the Hoyas’ real-life mascot, which is…

*check notes*

A dog.

Damn it.

Winner: Colorado Buffaloes


(4) Florida State Seminoles vs. (13) UNC-Greensboro Spartans

The Seminole, a fierce Native American warrior from the Southeastern US, matches up against another spartan. I really admire the fighting spirit of the Seminoles, but that tomahawk chop isn’t going to do a whole lot against that Spartan’s armor. The sword is still mightier in this instance.


​Winner: UNC-Greensboro Spartans


ENTRY BATTLE ROYALE: (6) BYU Cougars vs. (11) Michigan State Spartans vs. (11) UCLA Bruins

This intriguing matchup pits a ruthless cougar against a bruin (or bear) against another dude from Ancient Greece. Again, two angry, sharp-toothed animals could easily double team a guy wearing armor and rip him to shreds. And I think that while the bear is a worthy opponent, the cougar is faster. After a brutal fight, the cougar is the winner, and he celebrates with his victory dance.

​Winner: BYU Cougars


(3) Texas Longhorns vs. (14) Abilene Christian Wildcats

You don’t want to piss off a longhorn. You probably don’t even want to get near it, considering what happened when Bevo and Uga met a few years ago at the Sugar Bowl.

I think the wildcat stands more of a chance to fight back, but if the longhorn shows his wild side, one of those horns will go right through you.

Winner: Texas Longhorns

(7) Connecticut Huskies vs. (10) Maryland Terrapins

The husky has a tricky challenge ahead of him in the Terrapin, a diamondback turtle native to North America. The terrapin certain provides a strong defense thanks to the shell, but I don’t think he can do a whole lot more than that. If he pokes his head out of that shell once, the husky’s going to make him pay for it.

Winner: Connecticut Huskies

(2) Alabama Crimson Tide vs. (15) Iona Gaels

You could approach Alabama’s name literally, but an ocean of red water isn’t going to be very threatening, least of all to a Gael, a native of Scotland. But when you bring in Big Al, Alabama’s (adorable) elephant mascot, things change. The Gaels probably could get a flew blows on on the elephant, but one false move, and that elephant would crush that Scotsman.


Winner: Alabama Crimson Tide

Round of 32

(16) Texas Southern Tigers vs. (8) LSU Tigers
A few years ago, the combined team of Auburn and Clemson’s Tigers (the ClemsBurn SuperTigers) destroyed everyone en route to a championship win. You might anticipate that the same thing would happen here in another tiger vs. tiger matchup. But remember how I said that St. Bonaventure was the patron saint of bowel diseases? Well guess which tiger contracted a bowel disease from its first round game? That’s right. The LSU Tiger dies on the WAY to the fight, leaving the Texas Southern Tiger to win by default.

Winner: Texas Southern Tigers

(5) Colorado Buffaloes vs. (13) UNC-Greensboro Spartans
A spartan against a charging buffalo. Hm.

I keep envisioning a man dressed in armor being absolutely shelled by a large charging animal, so that’s exactly what’s going to happen here. 

Winner: Colorado Buffaloes


(6) BYU Cougars vs. (3) Texas Longhorns
Does the cougar have enough strength to take down a longhorn? Maybe. But does the longhorn have enough height and strength (and physical attributes, i.e. the horns) to lift that cougar up in the air? 

You betcha. Cougar kebabs all around.

Winner: Texas Longhorns


(7) Connecticut Huskies vs. (2) Alabama Crimson Tide
Sigh. Let’s get this over with. I’m going to save this puppy and usher him out of the fight. We all know the elephant would win, so why do we have to kill a dog over it? I’m rescuing the doggo and he shall be my friend forever. Crimson Tide wins by default. Besides, I wanna see an elephant take on a longhorn anyways.

Winner: Alabama Crimson Tide


Sweet 16
(16) Texas Southern Tigers vs. (5) Colorado Buffaloes
I hear buffalo burgers are pretty good. Damn, nature, you scary!

Winner: Texas Southern Tigers


(3) Texas Longhorns vs. (2) Alabama Crimson Tide
The battle of the tusks culminates here in this battle between Texas and Alabama. While the longhorn’s weapons may be sharper than the elephant’s tusks, the elephant has some tough skin, which can protect it from damage at the outset of the fight. In addition, the elephant can use its trunk to keep the longhorn from doing real damage, and bend it into submission as it takes over the fight.

Winner: Alabama Crimson Tide


Elite 8
(16) Texas Southern Tigers vs. (2) Alabama Crimson Tide
Tigers are strong, fast, and deadly. But if you get an elephant mad, it’ll run you over in a hurry. I think the size advantage poses a challenge for the tiger, and while I couldn’t find any good videos pitting a tiger and an elephant against each other in nature, just look at the size disparity:

In addition, the elephant usually travels in packs (we can employ the “tide” part here), and I don’t think that tiger stands a chance against a pack of elephants. Elephants are underrated as animals that will destroy everything in their path, and this tiger is no different.

Winner: Alabama Crimson Tide

Alabama Advances to Final Four

South Region

Round of 64

(1) Baylor Bears vs. (16) Hartford Hawks

I WENT TO SCHOOL AT HARTFORD AND THEY’RE IN THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME. AND WHILE THEY’LL GET SQUASHED BY BAYLOR I’M GOING TO PUT THEM OVER IN THIS BRACKET BECAUSE THIS IS MY SHOW, DAMMIT.

The pesky hawk plucks out the eyes of the bear. The bear, blinded, hurtles off the side of a cliff.

Winner: Hartford Hawks


(8) North Carolina Tarheels vs. (9) Wisconsin Badgers

The Tarheel of North Carolina is typically tasked with producing tar and pitch from the pine trees of the state and patching the hulls of ships. I imagine tar is very sticky, and having it on your heels is probably both painful and annoying, considering you’d be immobile. That said, the Tarheel is easy pickings for the badger.

Winner: Wisconsin Badgers


(5) Villanova Wildcats vs. (12) Winthrop Eagles

This is about as generic as you can get with the wildcats and eagles, two of the most common names in amateur sports. The eagle has to land sometime, and when it does, you can bet the wildcat is going to be there to eat it for lunch.

Winner: Villanova Wildcats


(4) Purdue Boilermakers vs. (13) North Texas Mean Green

The Boilermakers, whose mascot is the Boiler Express, an actual locomotive train, demolished most of the competition in last year’s bracket. This year they square off against the North Texas Mean Green, whose name is more symbolic of spirit than anything else. Is this Mean Green more of a fighting machine or just an angry version of Face from Nick Jr.? (Those of you that understand that deep-cut reference, I SO appreciate it). After further investigation, it's an.... Eagle. Right. Either way, the express keeps on rolling. All aboard!

Winner: Purdue Boilermakers


(6) Texas Tech Red Raiders vs. (11) Utah State Aggies

Ahh the age old question: just what the hell is an Aggie anyway? In the most base terms, an Aggie is a farmer (short for Agriculture), not a bull as seen in the picture above. So it’s… that farmer guy against a pirate dressed in red. All I can say is: don’t bring a hoe to a gun fight.

Winner: Texas Tech Red Raiders


(3) Arkansas Razorbacks vs. (14) Colgate Raiders

Pirate versus Piggy. Sorry, piggy.

Winner: Colgate Raiders


(7) Florida Gators vs. (10) Virginia Tech Hokies

The Hokie is the turkey-like mascot at Virgina Tech, and since turkey is delicious, you can bet that it’s going to be swallowed up by a very hungry Gator.

Winner: Florida Gators


(2) Ohio State Buckeyes vs. (15) Oral Roberts Golden Eagles

You could make the case for using Brutus Buckeye for Ohio State, instead of the actual buckeye nut. But given I’ve got another golden opportunity to make this ongoing bit a reality, we’re sticking with the nut. 

The Golden Eagle eats the nut. Unfortunately for the golden eagle, the Buckeye nut is poisonous. The Golden Eagle dies. The Buckeye is victorious.

Winner: Ohio State Buckeyes

Round of 32

(9) Wisconsin Badgers vs. (16) Hartford Hawks
Badger eats Hawk. Also, UHart can only go SO far before I have to bring it back down to earth. It wasn’t that great, after all. 

Winner: Wisconsin Badgers


(4) Purdue Boilermakers vs. (5) Villanova Wildcats
*Cues “Dumb Ways to Die” as the Wildcat doesn’t follow proper train safety protocols and gets hit by the oncoming train*

Winner: Purdue Boilermakers


(6) Texas Tech Red Raiders vs. (14) Colgate Raiders
This is one of those instances where you see a graph and the options are: A) Yes; B) Yes, but in Red. You ALWAYS choose the “But in red” option.

Winner: Texas Tech Red Raiders

(7) Florida Gators vs. (2) Ohio State Buckeyes
MORE STUPID BUCKEYE NONSENSE! 

Gator eats Buckeye. Buckeye poisons Gator. Buckeye is victorious as Gator dies. It's beautiful.

Winner: Ohio State Buckeyes


Sweet 16
(9 Wisconsin Badgers vs. (4) Purdue Boilermakers
So not only would a train absolutely DESTROY a badger physically, I’m going to say that the train’s loud volume and ability to make the ground shake will actually evict the badger and his family. So the Boilermakers move on not through nomination, but through the fact that the badger’s home’s property value has gone down and he has to move his family somewhere quieter.

Winner: Purdue Boilermakers


(6) Texas Tech Red Raiders vs. (2) Ohio State Buckeyes
Do we think the Pirate knows enough to not eat suspicious tree nuts? 

No. He doesn’t. Most pirates only know the sea, and are unfamiliar with the fruits of the land. 15 Buckeyes on a dead man’s chest.

Winner: Ohio State Buckeyes


Elite 8
(4) Purdue Boilermakers vs. (2) Ohio State Buckeyes
You’re probably thinking I’m going to get ridiculous with this, like the Buckeye is going to sit on the railroad tracks and try to derail the train, similar to the way the myth goes where you can derail a train with a penny on the track.

That’s exactly what he’s going to try to do.

And he’s going to turn into some variation of Buckeye-nut Butter doing it. Boilers are on to the Final Four.

Winner: Purdue Boilermakers

Purdue Advances to Final Four
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Midwest Region

Round of 64

(1) Illinois Fighting Illini vs. (16) Drexel Dragons

An actual man from Illinois thinks he has a prayer against a DRAGON. Man, if teams really were based on the strength of their mascots, Drexel would have a seriously good chance to win. In this case, the Dragon torches the man for thinking deep dish pizza is actual pizza. Because it’s not. It’s casserole.

Winner: Drexel Dragons


(8) Loyola Chicago Ramblers vs. (9) Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

The Rambler in this case is a wolf, the LU Wolf. It could also be just a human rambling from place to place. It doesn’t matter, because both are allergic to bee stings.

Winner: Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

(5) Tennessee Volunteers vs. (12) Oregon State Beavers

This is a rare instance where a Volunteer can actually get something done in a fight to the death. I imagine someone in Tennessee has some pesky Beavers he needs to get rid of, and the Volunteers says “hey, I’ll do it!” and easily eradicates the Beavers from the man’s land. Good going, Volunteers! You’re not so useless after all! Sometimes a perfectly menial task like pest control can get you somewhere in a Mascot Death Bracket.

Winner: Tennessee Volunteers


(4) Oklahoma State Cowboys vs. (13) Liberty Flames

Cowboys are used to sitting out under the stars beside a fire, which they are in complete control of the whole time, making sure to put it out before they go to sleep. The Cowboy snuffs out the flame and then uses it again to make himself breakfast the next morning. The act of defeating your opponent, only to revive it so it can make your breakfast is ICE. COLD.

Winner: Oklahoma State Cowboys


(6) San Diego State Aztecs vs. (11) Syracuse Orange

Mexico is fourth in the world in the production of oranges, and the Aztecs inhabited Mexico. I’ll assume the Aztec has eaten quite a few oranges in his time. The warrior makes use of an orange wedge to give himself orange teeth before finishing off his daily dose of Vitamin C. Also, I know Syracuse's logo is just the Orange "S", but I had to include Otto. You can't NOT include Otto.

Winner: San Diego State Aztecs


(3) West Virginia Mountaineers vs. (14) Morehead State Eagles

The mountaineer has experience being up really high, so he’s right at home when he challenges the Eagle to a fight and kills it.

Winner: West Virginia Mountaineers


(7) Clemson Tigers vs. (10) Rutgers Scarlet Knights

The Scarlet Knight is gonna wear that tiger as a prize when he skins it and moves to the next round.

Winner: Rutgers Scarlet Knights


(2) Houston Cougars vs. (15) Cleveland State Vikings

A cougar is a cooler version of a mountain lion, but let’s be real, the Viking is absolutely going to win this fight. No giant feline’s sending him to Valhalla.

Winner: Cleveland State Vikings


Round of 32
(16) Drexel Dragons vs. (9) Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets​
I’ve never seen what happens when you light a bee on fire, but I’m willing to bet that you wouldn’t be able to find its molecules with the naked eye if it got torched by a DRAGON.

Winner: Drexel Dragons


(5) Tennessee Volunteers vs. (4) Oklahoma State Cowboys
The Cowboy hires the Volunteer as a ranch hand. The Volunteer has a heart attack from an undiagnosed condition while working with the cows one day. A bit sat but ultimately unperturbed, the Cowboy moves on to the next round.

Winner: Oklahoma State Cowboys


(6) San Diego State Aztecs vs. (3) West Virginia Mountaineers
The Aztecs had razor sharp obsidian weapons, some of which had the power to “decapitate a horse,” according to a Wikipedia article I read. That, and the Aztecs are just plain scary, so I think the Mountaineer just takes his ball and goes home out of sheer fright. Aztecs to the Sweet 16.

Winner: San Diego State Aztecs


(10) Rutgers Scarlet Knights vs. (15) Cleveland State Vikings
For the sake of argument, let’s say we’re fighting in a large field. I think the open terrain suits the Knight better, but the openness of the terrain opens it up for close-quarters melee combat between the two warriors. Both are equipped with armor, and the Viking certainly has more raw power and can decapitate you with his battle ax. But I think in this fight, the knight has better training, and is able to get the Viking to use his only fury against him, where he takes advantage and stabs him as he catches his opponent off guard. An upset, but an earned one nonetheless.

Winner: Rutgers Scarlet Knights


Sweet 16
(16) Drexel Dragons vs. (4) Oklahoma State Cowboys
Cowboy versus Dragon? That Cowboy is TOAST. 

Winner: Drexel Dragons


(6) San Diego State Aztecs vs. (10) Rutgers Scarlet Knights
This is another instance of warrior versus warrior, which I believe again plays out in the knight’s favor, simply because of the advanced weaponry and armor he has access too. The Aztec is a worthy opponent, but when his opponent can kill him with a single blow, there’s not much he can do about it.

Winner: Rutgers Scarlet Knights


Elite 8
(16) Drexel Dragons vs. (10) Rutgers Scarlet Knights
This is what we wanted. Dragon versus Knight. There’s no damsel at play here (except for maybe a date with the Final Four), but the Knight is able to get to the top of the volcano to the dragon’s lair, scaling dangerous cliffs and braving fire and brimstone in the process. 

And the dragon absolutely ROASTS his ass.

Winner: Drexel Dragons

Drexel Advances to Final Four

Final Four

(16) Drexel Dragons vs. (4) Purdue Boilermakers​

Just like any normal day riding the MTA, the dragon derails the Boiler Express and tosses it into the volcano. Dragons move to the finals.

Winner: Drexel Dragons


(11) Wichita State Shockers vs. (2) Alabama Crimson Tide

Surely something as large as an elephant can halt the unstoppable mythical force known as the Shocker-

Nope. The Wheat Man lulls the elephant into a false sense of security by allowing him to enter the wheat field, where the elephant decides to take a nap. It is there that the Wheat Man steals the elephant’s soul. Elephants never forget. Wheat Men never forgive.

Winner: Wichita State Shockers
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National Championship

(16) Drexel Dragons vs. (11) Wichita State Shockers
The dragon can torch the wheat fields all he wants. The Wheat Man, throughout this bracket has become so powerful that he now embodies all forms, both living and non-living, seen and unseen. He will outlive the dragon long after his death (the Dragon has celiac and is actually allergic to gluten which is present in wheat, funnily enough. So that snack the dragon wants to have actually kills him), as he will outlive all things long after this world meets its end by absorption into the sun.

In the end, there is no peace. There is no God. There is only the Wheat Man.


Winner: Wichita State Shockers


And with that dark, dark ending to the Death Bracket, tell me which mascots you think would win in a fight to the death in the comments down below!

The First Round of the NCAA Tournament kicks off on Friday, March 19th, on the networks of CBS.