Top 10 Most Annoying Songs of 2017
For every great song, there are at least two songs you wish you would never hear again. 2017 was a really solid year for music, but there were quite a few shortcomings by more than a few artists as well. As part of According to Andrew, we're counting down the top 10 most annoying songs of 2017.
Now, to clarify, it's not that these songs are bad per se (I mean, some of them are pretty bad), they're just annoying. They're songs you would be okay never hearing again. Mostly, this is just a forum for a bunch of straw man arguments against these songs, but some of them I actually have legitimate grievances with.
Okay y'all. Let's suffer through this together. Hold your breath now.
"These Heaux," Bhad Barbie
I think the Cash Me Outside girl gets a bad rap. She’s internet famous for being a little shit, and now she’s a rich, extra famous little shit. And now she’s just trying to make her way in this world before her fame wears off and her money runs out. The way she spells “Heaux” gets me, but this song is garbage. Just like her.
"Water Under the Bridge," Adele
The reason this song is on this list (and I in no way mean to put Adele and Danielle Bregoli in the same category- they are not even remotely close) is simply because of oversaturation. I heard this song far too many times this year to like it. It definitely isn’t one of Adele’s best either, as it doesn’t really branch out into anything more than a heartbroken-acceptance song. Adele is still the queen, but for my taste, I would be okay never hearing this one again.
The Top 10:
10. "Most Girls," Hailee Steinfeld
The Pitch Perfect star is a talented singer. There’s no doubt about that. But “Most Girls” is just a little bit too late, when you look at all the feminist anthems that have come out in the last two years or so. I find this song just too generic; it’s your typical “it’s cool to not be like most people” song. Your standard song that if you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times.
"Bon Appetit," Katy Perry feat. Migos
A preface to this entry- it was not a good year for Katy Perry. Witness rightfully received mixed reviews, and this second single from the album only showed how much of an unsuccessful departure from previous material this was for her. If you like songs with as many sex metaphors crammed into three-and-change minutes as possible, this one might be for you. Other than that, hard pass.
8. "Feels," Calvin Harris feat. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean
I’m not feeling it with this one. Mostly, I’m just not feeling Katy Perry in this one, as she repeats “don’t be afraid to catch feels/don’t be afraid to pop pills” over and over in the most excruciatingly annoying way possible. I’m not really sure what it is about her this year. “Feels” has a pretty cool funk beat to it, but that’s really about all it has going for it.
7. “Havana,” Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug
Sometimes, all it takes is one hook, even one line, to put you on this list. If I have to hear one more slurring “Havana” or anything that rhymes with it in that atrociously garbage melody, I’m gonna scream.
6. "Swish Swish," Katy Perry feat. Nicki Minaj
Another one in the trash can. So the music video for this song is actually mildly entertaining. We’ve got a lot of big celebrities both from the entertainment and from the sports worlds, including Rob Gronkowski, Terry Crews, Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things, Molly Shannon, Bill Walton, the entire cast of Glow, Doug the Pug, and even the Mountain from Game of Thrones. But all the celebrities in the world can’t save this earworm of a track. Okay, so maybe Nicki Minaj’s verse is pretty decent, but even so. Put this one in your backpack and never take it out again, kid.
5. “Chained to the Rhythm,” Katy Perry feat. Skip Marley
I promise I am almost finished hating on Katy Perry. I said in my Top 25 Pop Songs of 2017 list that this year was the year of Caribbean House, with many pop stars employing the island vibe to some of their new music. No stranger to this was Ms. Perry, as her first single from her Witness album featured the help of Bob Marley’s grandson Skip. In short, there’s nothing good about this song. The repeating beat in this horrendous minor key (I’m not really sure why the minor key for a song called “Chained to the Rhythm”) almost sounds like an out-of-beat synth trying to catch up with the rest of the song. And as for Skip, let’s just say he’s definitely not his grandfather. One can only guess what Bob would think of this collaboration. Okay, you’re off the hook, Katy, I’m all done. Better luck next year!
4. "Rockabye," Clean Bandit feat. Anne-Marie and Sean Paul
I found Sean Paul after all these years of being irrelevant! He’s in a collab with Clean Bandit and someone named Anne-Marie!
3. "Body Like a Back Road," Sam Hunt
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. All the cliches. All of them. I mean, bless Sam Hunt for wanting to obey speed limits and 15 miles per hour in a 30 mile per hour zone, but that’s a little obnoxious. Speed the hell up. I mean, I know you’re trying to take it easy, but you can take it easy at a pace that is respectful to other drivers on the road. And then there’s all the metaphors for the curves of this woman he’s talking about. WE GET IT. She’s hot. God, why can’t country singers just say that instead of needing to go into all this overreaching detail? Is it just easy to remember? How much are you getting paid to write these awful lyrics? Jeez. I’m turning my car around and going home.
2. “I’m the One,” DJ Khaled feat. Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper
We already have one overcrowded hip-hop song featuring the Biebs this year, and that one was called “Despacito.” I’m good on this one. Far too overhyped, far too overplayed. Skiiiiip!
1. "Look What You Made Me Do," Taylor Swift
Okay, let me rant a little bit here, Tay-Tay. This is the same woman who created 1989, one of the best albums to come out in the last few years. It was Taylor saying “yeah, look at all my haters talking shit about me and how I live my life, I honestly could care less.” And it worked. It showed maturity. It showed honesty. I could get behind her being a role model for young women. “Bad Blood” was a little aggressive, but it was still a solid song to listen to (mostly because of Kendrick Lamar, but who’s counting?) And then she drops this. I’m confused. It sounds to me like it’s the same haters she was shaking off really got to her, and she’s now caring far too much and trying to act like a real badass in order to exact her revenge. As far as I know, she was the one who got called out for trying to start shit between Kim and Kanye, right? I don’t get the image change, because literally no one person made her do anything. It only comes off as fake to me. Image changes that work are typically what make revolutionary and transcendent talents. Beyonce. Lady Gaga. These two have transformed their personal and musical styles to great effect. They are generational talents. Taylor is not. “Look What You Made Me Do” is a prime example of how not to do an image change. You don’t make a huge deal out of it (the trademarking of the snake… really?), you just go ahead and do it and don’t give a shit what other people think. It’s almost like she put this one out in order to stay relevant or something. If the old Taylor is truly dead (and I really hope she isn’t because embracing pop music was one of the best things to ever happen to her), I really don’t want the new one. A major shortcoming for an artist who was beginning to feel like the real thing. Also, you can talk about how you love the image change all you want. She’s still going to end her concerts with “Shake It Off,” no matter how much you might want the image change to stick.
Rants over. Thank you for indulging me for a minute there. Which songs from this year do you never want to hear again? Leave a comment down below.
Feel free to check out According to Andrew's Best of 2017 spread by clicking HERE.